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tvxq, yunho/jaejoong; "you as my muse" - chaotic & kind
you should have walked out of there

solution/resolution/absolution posting in (we're in a city at war)
user: ricuh (posted by rain_streaked)
date: 2008-11-06 14:47
subject: tvxq, yunho/jaejoong; "you as my muse"
secuity: Public
tags:(tvxq), c: yunho, p: jaejoong/yunho
originally posted on rain_streaked here
February 24, 2007

with only you as my muse
~920 words

stories come to you like flashes of inspiration; you see things, strangely, in moments of prose and logic, not snatches of notes and a deep, steady bass. you listen to music and imagine books written about them, rich with characters and long-winded explanations, and you read novels and remember old tunes that match the rhythm of the words. when you wake up you often transcribe your dreams into unwritten text, immortalizing the world you left in your mind, but today the shifting of sheets and a slow moan stills you, makes you hold your breath with anticipation.

jaejoong rises lazily, turning his head to look out the window as he stretches his arms out over his head, half-smile playing on his lips. you observe with quiet adulation, watch the older singer lick his lips unconsciously and imagine tales written on long stretches of your skin with that tongue. you shift minutely within your warm covers, the feel of your boxers rubbing against your groin beginning to grow uncomfortable.

rubbing at his eyes, jaejoong forces himself out of bed and slips on a pair of jeans, chuckling ruefully at his clothing strewn about his bed, the sound deep and scratchy in his throat. he browses around the other beds, covering up patches of yoochun, junsu and changmin’s bared flesh with whatever cloth he can find, muffling a chuckle in his hands when he sees junsu's feet jutting out from beneath the pink down blanket, resting where his head should be. you hold your breath and wait for him to turn to you, the beginnings of the sunrise peering through the windows casting shadows around him that seem deliberate, like torn silk draped demurely over a model.

he doesn't disappoint, pivoting on his heel to pierce you with his stare only to be startled into a light smile when he notices you wide awake and observing him with an unguarded expression. when he steps toward you, the sunlight catches his back and burns wings against his sides, reminding you of an icarus reversed, sun-borne flight bringing him to your side, softly.

"you should go back to sleep, yunho," he whispers in place of a greeting, smiling tiredly at you. he approaches you quietly, sliding his socked feet along the floor and nearly tripping over his dirty shirt. while you're laughing at his awkward hop-skip-swerve to avoid falling flat on his face he blushes and bends down to pick up your bambi doll, which you hadn't realized had left your arms, and shoves it in your face in an effort to stem your almost hysterical laughter.

"oh, joongah," you breathe, smothering bambi to your chest and fighting off the last vestiges of laughter as you smile up at his blushing face, his already flushed face darkening into crimson. a paragraph floats into your mind, one riddled with subtext and denied emotions and the feeling of unfulfilled desires, lying thick in the air. the ache to write intensifies as jaejoong shakes his head and reaches out to push you back down to the bed, pulling your blankets up until it reaches your chin.

"let's sleep in a little more. it‘s been so long since we last had a break," jaejoong says, grin tired but cheeky, and you nod, already writing the second paragraph in your head. you feel like a teenage girl, thinking up stories about the two of you, but then you force yourself to forget about it when jaejoong tiptoes to the windows and closes the blinds as quietly as he can. the gesture is strangely domestic and motherly compared to his well-defined back, jeans loose around his hips and socks mismatched like changmin's eyes when he smiles.

the singer twists his wrists in a decisive movement, darkening the room, and his other hand rises up and reaches behind him to rub over the intricate letters curled between his shoulder blades. the story rewrites itself naturally; becomes a story of the most beautiful person on earth, who's soft-spoken and lacks the confidence to let his beauty shine as brilliantly as it should.

jaejoong returns to his bed after flashing you a smile and mouthing "good night" with a shy smile. you wait until his breathing evens out and yoochun rolls over, exposing an outrageously orange pillow clenched between his knees as his blanket slides off his body and hangs precariously on the edge of his bed. when you're sure jaejoong's too deep in sleep to wake, you get out of bed, padding over to fix the covers over yoochun's shivering body before you leave the room. you bite back a cry when suddenly a foot collides painfully with your thigh, and you groan into the crook of your elbow when changmin murmurs "let go of jaejoongie hyung's kimchi stew... it's mine!" in his sleep.

rolling your eyes, you massage out the soreness in your legs and step out of the room, looking back one last time. at the far corner of the room jaejoong hums, lips curving around words you can't hear. you laugh and think, maybe he'll be in love.

(two years later you publish the book anonymously, awing critics with your detailed characterization of the main character and shocking the more conservative readers with the implication of a strong, romantic attraction between the main character and his male best friend. you catch jaejoong reading it and hold your breath for his reaction, smiling when the quiet singer puts the book down in a daze, eyeing you with something akin to hope in his eyes.)

comment | 4 comments | | link

user: u_know
date: 2010-05-10 12:19 (UTC)
subject: (no subject)
ahh omg why are all ur fics so lovely!? <3333
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user: rain_streaked
date: 2010-05-13 07:22 (UTC)
subject: (no subject)
♥ Thank you!! It was such a joy signing into my email account and seeing your comments. :)
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BittersweetHue: pic#117404609
user: ejijang
date: 2012-07-30 18:34 (UTC)
subject: (no subject)
but i mean, all ur stories are anyway : D
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donud: pic#120262732
user: donud
date: 2014-01-20 14:26 (UTC)
subject: (no subject)
Wow.. Breathless....
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my journal
if we could,